Gaybitch

Multilingual adventures of an Irish Gay

Gay Romeo, my standard response

Posted by Gaybitch on March 16, 2008

It seams that a lot of German Gayromeo users are blind when it comes to my profile. I have on it that my German is shiße! That is the exact words I use, and yet I still get messeges completely in German. My standard response is

Es tut mir leid, aber ich bin nicht sehr gut Deutsch sprechen. Also ich verstehe nicht, was Sie sagen

Which means, “I am sorry, but I do not speak Germen very well. So I do not understand what you are saying.”

All I say is thank god for Google translate that was I can kind of figure out what they are on about!

Other then that gayromeo is great when compared with gaydar and others.

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Tram Flirting

Posted by Gaybitch on March 16, 2008

This is one of my new past times I think. On the way home last night a really cute guy was eying me up on the tram. Now I was fairly pissed at the time, I was drinking since 16:00 for the Ireland v England game, Ireland lost :( ,  so was after a fair amount of Kreffelder/Drecksac (Kölsch mixed with Cola). This was about 03:00 after stumbling out of the Gay College Party, thank god for student ID’s! but anyway he was looking at me, I caught him a fair few times and I just smiled at him. Now I didnt go over to him for a few reasons.

  1. I have enough bloody well confusion in my life
  2. I was afraid I would fall over, as there was so little blood in my alcohol system (still have a massive hangover)
  3. I was lazy, if he wanted me he would have gotten up or gotten off at my stop

I think I will keep this tram flirting up, especially at night. It could have some interesting results! :P

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Polish Guy calls again

Posted by Gaybitch on March 13, 2008

I am just off the phone with “Polish Guy”. This time I managed to get there on time. Talking with him reminded me of home so a little homesick now.

So did the phonecall clear up confusion? The answer a big fat NO. He was asking me was I in Ireland, Im in Germany for the foreseable future. Was I single, technically YES. I didnt say technically cause his english aint so good, nor is mine lately!

He asked why didnt I text him. Im in another country, he thought I was back in Ireland in March.

Now heres the confusing part, he is now in a relationship, from what I could gather, but is he still interested in me? I dont have a clue. Anyway I promised to start texting him again. Must find my polish phrasebook and dictionary…

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To Confuse things further…

Posted by Gaybitch on March 12, 2008

Lately an Ex, well he isnt really my ex, we were never really going out as I was Cork and he was Kerry, has started ringing me again. The thing is with this guy, we will call him “Polish Guy” (my naming system is very imagintive!?!), is when he thinks of you he rings and hangs up, which is awfully sweet when you are kinda going out (I have a history of confusion with men!) but when your in another country and it cost 79c a minute, it aint exactly cute then.

Now “Polish Guy” is really nice, he has even met my family, but I dont know what the deal is with the pone calls all of a sudden, especially after midnight (granted thats after 11 in Ireland). His english was improving alot when we were meeting up and he was so sweet and hot. But I broke it off with him (and another guy I was seeing at the time) as I didnt want a relationship (let alone two!). My life is anything but simple, and that dosent look like changing.

Whats a boy to do?

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The Latest Crush Confusion

Posted by Gaybitch on March 12, 2008

So heres something that happened a bit more recently, we are talking last Friday and Saturday night ok?

Well I was out in ExCorner as usual and “German Teacher” was out. Now I went over to have a chat, and he had two guys with him, both were gorgeous, but I had eyes for only one. “The Lawyer” yes, early 30′s and a lawyer. Of course I had to introduce myself as “German Teacher” aint to good with the introductions. We were chatting away, swapped the usual CV, did I like Cologne etc etc. Then he said he had to leave. So I being the bold one asked would he be out the following night. He said yes and that he might be in Bodycheck. I had totally forgotten Bodycheck was on. So I said I might see you there.

Fast forward to Saturday night, I was supposed to meet up with “Brit Guy” but he was a no show at corner. Then again I was half an hour late over drunk ass Americans. So I had a few drinks in Corner to pass the time. I headed over to Bodycheck.

The first person I met was “German Teacher” now I didnt ask hime was “Lawyer” there but he bought me a drink, said the usual niceities and headed off for a walk around the club. After a nerve racking experience in the toiletten (a DJ and a mini Disco? For gods sake I need to piss!) I came out on the dancefloor and who was there but “The Lawyer”. So we started dancing. Now I am useless with bright lights and he could see I was half blind over em so we swapped places. eventually we ended up with the lights to the side.

There was plenty of eye contact except when we started moving in close. It was very strange. Considering the signals I was getting (rasied eyebrows etc). I when I thought ‘yes, this is it’ he announced he wanted to go check on “German Teacher” ‘Noooooooo’ my head screamed! Since I could do nothing to stop him, I followed meakly.

After chatting for awhile we ended up dancing to together, again he started the mixed signals at once point grinding up against me! I didnt know what to do, considering all the mixed signals and I still am none the wiser! Eventually he had to leave cause of work that day. I left soon after.

Boy am I confused!

PS for info on Corner and Bodycheck etc, I’ve started a new page Gay Guide to Cologne and Beyond check it out.

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My First Night in Germany

Posted by Gaybitch on March 12, 2008

To show of what to expect from this blog, the first few posts will be explaining the horrible situation my love life is in or like this post a recap of actual events.

This one is going back a bit to when I first arrived here in Germany. I was staying in a youth hostel, so i decided to head out. I found an gay information point for the city and they recomended a fews bars up in the Gay Triangle for me. I headed off to “ExCorner” as I was told this was the best place for my age group. I don’t know what age he thought I was but anyway. All conversations were in English by the way as my german was (and still is) shiße!

So I walked into the bar and my confusion began. I ordered from ‘hot bartender’ (my first german crush, still have it) one Kölsch (the local beer) and he placed two in front of me and said “ein euro fünfzig” (1,50€). Now this was confusing, I started off going “ein kölsch” and was told it was happy hour. Score i thought! Till I realised the effect this has on me.

So anyway the night progressed as I stood on my own at the bar, not nice then, but have gotten used to going out alone, rarely do it now. A few people tried to talk to me in German, but back then I could only speak in numbers and the basic “wie gehst?”, how are you.

On the way to the toilets some one stopped to say something to me, I said in my terrible German “Entschuldigung, nicht sprache sie deutsch”. Yes I know, that is terrible german, but thats how I used to say it! So he said “english?”. Woo, I thought, an English speaker, they seam to be few and far between here. “I will talk to you on the way back” he told me. On his way back he stuck to his word and brought me over to meet his friend.

Okay so its time to name these to, the guy who talked to me first shall be called “Old and Creepy” as I was soon to find out, and the other shall be “Student Dr”. So “Old and Creepy continuly tried to chat me up while he and “Student Dr” pumped me up with Kölsch. Now when “Old and Creepy” went off to toiletten (toilet, I never call it the toilet anymore) he left me with with “Student Dr” whos english was worse then my german! well not really, but I’d like to think that!

So while “Old and Creepy” was away next thing I know I’m communicating in tongues with “Student Dr”. That led to me being called an “Arseloch!” (Asshole) by “Old and Creepy” who had tried to kiss me previously.

So that was the night off to a good start. So we left for some reason, and lost “Student Dr”. “Old and Creepy” tried to bring me to a Sauna, I said no. Been in one before, never again, or so I thought…. So we went back to corner. At this point I was introducted to a few more people but only one is relevant to this story. That was “German Teacher”. Now he is not a German Teacher but has taken it on himself to teach me phrase in german to be aware of, so hence the name. He’s a really nice guy and I always look forward to seeing him out.

But anyway, we talked, swapped a potted CV, did I like Germany etc, its my thrid time here, so I think the answer is obvious! Next thing I know, I’m kissing him. I used to have a terrible habit of when drunk, kissing anything with lips, this has gotten me into trouble in the past but I have learned now to control it. Next thing I know, I’m being led out to taxi and being brought to his place! “Shiße!” I thought “How will I get back to the hostel!”, but that was not to matter as something that will link most of these stories together happened. We sat on the couch and what happened? I fell asleep. Yes folks no hanky-panky as good old gaybitch here fell asleep. I probably should have called this blog ‘Sleepy GayBitch’!

The next morning the usual, where I am? questions start floating in my head, and for a good while I didnt remember. Kölsch is great for wiping out your memory I have learned! And giving you the mother of all hangovers! Eventually “German Teacher” awoke from his slumber and gave me coffee, that helped me feel slightly human, but it would take solpadeine and retail therapy to make me feel really human! So eventually we parted, him giving me directions to the Hauptbahnof as thats how I knew to get to my hostel!

There ends the story of my first night in Germany.

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A taste of whats to come…

Posted by Gaybitch on March 12, 2008

So this blog is mainly to tell my stories about me and men, and my confusion with men. Straight men may give out about women, but believe me, women have nothing on gay men! I should know!

So heres a round up of my confusion, firstly theres ‘Irish guy’ back home in Ireland, who I *think* I have fallen for, but neither of us want a long distance relationship. We text regularly enough but we havent texted since last week. Should I text him?

Secondly, there is a ‘Finnish guy’ who I met through an english speakers website. He hadnt kissed a guy in quite a while, and hes really hot (though nearly 10 years older then me!). The thing is with him is, hes gone back to Finland, and I dont know when he is back :(

Thirdly, at this point your wondering how many men do I have on the go?! There is ‘Brit Guy’. This guy is the ultimate confusion, he is in an ‘open relationship’ (I don’t get those) and is allowed Kiss/have sex with other guys by his BF. What the hell like?

Fourthly (and lastly) , there is the ‘Son’, so where does that name come from? Well he is the son of one of my friends here and he is now being called my father in law. Oh, this guy is actually german!

As you can see my love life is full of confusion. HILFE (Help!)

Posted in Confusion about men, Love Life | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Welkommen!

Posted by Gaybitch on March 12, 2008

Hallo there! Welcome to the blog of Gaybitch. Im a multilingual (more on that later) Irish guy living in germany. This blog will not mention names or places (well not exact locations) and is all about me and my confusion with men!

Hope you enjoy the blog!

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